Special Edition of Kayla's Corner

Extending our well wishes and congratulations to newlywed district residents Kayla Epstein and Gordan Glaser.

Dear Friends and Neighbors,

It’s been too long since I’ve written this column. Life gets complicated, and we make choices. Some good, some scary. The cold, dark winter felt like it would last forever. The first signs of spring, followed by a green explosion of plants, lifted my spirits, and I hope yours.

My important documents, like my driver’s license and Medicare card, now include a new marriage license. I was married earlier this month. My emotions follow the typical wedding planning flow: Up when our plans move forward, and down with frustration when they do not. I hope you are in the mood for a romantic tale. I’ll call it “The Ballad of the Past Prime Players: Gordon and Kayla.”

In 1992, my fiancé, Max Gruenberg, introduced me to his friend, Gordon Glaser. At that first meeting, I found Gordon to be cold and aloof. I speculated that was why, in his 40s, he had never married. How wrong I was.

The following year, Max and I danced at Gordon’s wedding. His wife, Mary Jo, proved to be a wonderful woman. Gordon’s warmth, love, and respect for Mary Jo could not be missed. I realized how wrong my first impression was. The year after that, Max and I got married too. Gordon and Mary Jo continued to stay in our circle of friends. When Max died, I moved to Juneau. Years later, Mary Jo died.

About 30 years after Max introduced me to Gordon, Löki Tobin, my friend and co-worker, ran for the state senate. I was visiting Anchorage when I learned candidate Tobin planned to speak at the Bartlett Club. I took the empty seat next to Löki, and to my right was Gordon. After the meeting, I offered my condolences on Mary Jo’s death, which started a conversation. I mentioned I was on the Juneau Jewish community’s board, and he casually said, “You should come to services at Temple Beth Sholom.” When I showed up, he met me at the door, took my coat, brought me a prayer book, and sat beside me. He could carry a tune, I could not.

At the end of the service, he stayed beside me during the blessings over the wine and bread, and then offered me a ride home. The following morning, he called me for a dinner date. That felt serious. What should I wear? Dinner started, and I wasn’t through with my salad before I realized he could be my “until death do you part” partner. It was a long-distance relationship with flowers and calls. Two months later, he asked me if he should reserve the burial plot for me next to his and Mary Jo’s. Not a proposal but a serious long-term commitment.

A year in, and there was an actual proposal. Marriage is always a serious decision, but we confidently said, “I do” under the traditional wedding canopy.

We do not make the perfect couple. I “go with the flow,” and Gordon analyzes everything that could go wrong and plans for them. I usually run about five minutes late, maybe a little more. He prefers to arrive 15 minutes early. But when he wraps his arms around me, I melt. I know that he loves me and I him. After a great struggle, with doubt, I am committed to our relationship, and so is he. That’s what counts. There are important choices in every season of our lives. I risk love in the fall of my life.

I hope we all have a lovely spring and summer, and your life has happy surprises. Mine certainly has.

Kayla Epstein

P.S. And, thanks Löki, for bringing us together. In case you are wondering, generally, matchmaking is not among her constituent services.